Poorly Answered Questions

Q: What's a thesteve?
A: Sometimes the simplest questions are the hardest to answer. That very question is the exact one we are trying to find the answer to ourselves. So far our research suggests that it has something to do with the number seven.

Q: Can I buy one? If so, where, and how much?
A: Yes, actually. That's about all we know though. The most widely accepted theory at this time is that they can be bought with food.

Q: What is the true intent of thesteve.org?
A: Well it's certainly not to answer all of these silly questions. They are merely a distraction to keep you from finding this site's true intent.

Q: Who is its perpetrator?
A: I shall now teach a man to fish; with the WHOIS system the answer you will find.

Q: Do you have any interesting predictions?
A: No, but I've got a neat idea for a movie: All the dinosaurs finally get fed up with us digging up their ancestors' bones all of the time.

Q: Do they do anything about it?
A: Yes. They come back from their extended vacation to Venus and romp on us. Then they stomp on us. They leave us for dead and we die. Then, thousands of years later, the dinosaurs start digging us up and we come back from the dead and kill a few of them. The rest decide to take an extended vacation to Venus where the natives are nicer, so they steal all our spaceships. The movie then loops back to the beginning and plays again, ad infinitum (or ad nausea, whichever comes first.)

Q: I've been playing this game called the Internet for a long time. Can you tell me how to beat it so that I can get on with my life?
A: The details are a little fuzzy but I'm sure it involves killing all of the spammers.

Q: Have you ever been accused of stealing?
A: Just hearts, baby.

Q: I think you owe me money for the amount of time I've wasted on this site already.
A: That's not even a question.

Any grammatical, factual, or orthographic errors are indirectly the fault of either my american education or my dentist. No lemurs were harmed as a direct result of the production of this page, as far as we know.